The Beauty of the Blue Period

Hi everyone,

I'll be honest, I've not been feeling all that inspirational lately, or driven to write. Hence the lack of blogs lately. Still, I have this sense that I need to sit and try today. Thank you Kris for the motivation! :)

I can see why writer's block is such a stress... To know I have thoughts inside me swimming around but they're not able to get out. Ugh!

So, I pause as I sit in my chair, lay my head back, close my eyes, and say a silent prayer... "God, help to me understand what I'm feeling, help me to get it out in words, and help me to provide something that the world could benefit from...Amen"

Hmmmm.....

So, I guess I can't always be the optimistic ray of sunshine that I hope I can... but then again, maybe this is a normal part of real life.. Sometimes life just isn't about sunshine. It's about being real. There's a lot of night and darkness in life too... And really, without these dark periods, we can't appreciate the light.

I assume I'm not the only one who goes through these periods. After all, didn't Vincent Van Gogh have a 'Blue Period'? Wow, to be able to artistically and creatively express one's feelings of sadness on canvas with oils, pigments, paints, and brushes. Such beauty!

Well, I wasn't awarded that creative gift of expression...but I certainly admire those who do... You know what else I've always wished to have? A beautiful singing voice. And with all these shows on today like American Idol, I can see I'm not the only one who wishes for this! But on the other hand, really, what does a professional singer bring to the world that I desire? What does a painter bring that I can't?

I think those of us who work in our 'normal' jobs (teachers, nurses, doctors, business owners, pastors, etc.) do such good works. I think the singer or the painter was given their gift partly, as a gift to us. We are the back bone to this world. The artists are those who bring us pleasing things like the songs we sing in the car on the way to the work, or the paintings we have on our living room walls as we sit on the floor and play chess with our kids. (Aaron is becoming quite the player!)

So, I can see how we all have a place or role in this world. And being envious or sad because I can't create these artistic masterpieces is to mistrust that God knows what he's doing. He gave me an 'average' singing voice, (I'm GREAT when I'm alone in the car!) and a hand that is only capable of drawing 'really good stick figures' because he knows that I'm meant to be a nurse, a mom, a friend. :)

I guess I need to remind myself of that. The other lesson I've learned is that being "blue" sometimes is not a bad thing. Certainly in our society, in the fast-paced schedule we are all in, it's a struggle when we don't feel totally 'on top of our game'. We can get pretty hard on ourselves.

So, when this happens, what can we do? Well, I think it's healthy to take time... We need to nurture our souls. We need to pray, and we need to remember our role in this world. God doesn't give us more than we can handle. We need to think about what's weighing us down. Sometimes we struggle because something actually happened... An event that has shaken us or brought us a sense of loss. Sometimes we're down just because of our body chemistry, or from a lack of sunshine, or even from a less-than-ideal diet that could cause us to feel sub-par. Either way, It's never easy, and finding a way to cope with our own personal versions of the "Blue Period" is a part of life, and certainly, a part of growth.

Well, for me, one of my dear friends is leaving his family tomorrow because of his deployment orders. Its been hard for me, on several levels. First is that he is a fellow soldier and I greatly admire is service. But the sense of worry and fear is there. The next is that he's shown all of his friends just what an amazing father he is. The sacrifices he's made to care for his kids while he is gone is truly exceptional. It's touching, overwhelming, and heartwarming to see another parent sacrificing their role as a parent for the sake of our country. I pray for his continued safety and for the well being of his children while he's gone. The weight of knowing about someone's sacrifice and the potential for loss can almost be paralyzing at times.

So, because of this, needless to say, I've been kind of 'bummed out'...

YET, despite this, the world keeps spinning. The sun keeps shining...GLORIOUS! My son keeps telling me he's hungry...which I LOVE to hear :), my dog keeps wanting to play catch, and God keeps showing me that he loves me. I'm blessed! I was vacuuming earlier, and being thankful for it. I'm thankful for my home, for my vacuum, for my clean carpet, for my big pile of laundry waiting to be washed, for my dishes that need to be put away, for the grad school application that's STILL waiting to be sent in, the emails that are awaiting reply, and even the 'blue' I'm feeling. I'm thankful for it all. And I know, if I never felt these times of sadness, I wouldn't come to know the joy of perseverance, the pride of being able to overcome, and the warmth, peace and glory of being full of sunshine and optimism!

I take lessons from it all. And to you, my friends, I thank you. Because its through these writings that I feel a great sense of accomplishment, of self-expression, and of growth. Thanks to you and thanks to God. For He knows. He knows what we need...In every moment...in THIS moment. He knows. And he provides. Praise God!

Now I pray for you all. I pray that your 'Blue Periods' bring you closer to God, and that the growth you experience as you overcome the darkness carries you further along on his journey. And...that those small glimmers of sunshine and joy that return to your heart as the sadness fades away, are the treasures that you keep with you. Because those little glimmers of joy are the Holy Spirit! God is here...in our very lives...even in the darkness! Amen!

Peace Friends!
~Erica
PS, AND GOD BE WITH THE SOLDIERS!! AMEN!!