Grace overpowers the silence of singlehood

Well, it's my first day off since I ended my most recent relationship... My last couple days-off were spent with him and his kids. Its hard now. The hustle and responsibilities of everyday life have kept me buffered against the obvious 'silence' that being single is often accompanied with.

I started with my devotion and read about Grace and how the little acts we do or receive are so powerful even though we may not realize it at the time.

Then I thought about the mountain of things I need to accomplish today to keep me on my path...pay bills, apply for a class, dishes, laundry, yoga, grocery shopping, make a baby blanket for a coworker,...never ending lists.

But despite my self made busy-ness, that silence keeps creeping in. How I desire a distraction from it. Something that fills me and tells me that I won't be single forever, or even that someone at this moment is thinking about me, even though we may not be able to be together... Even that would be enough.

But if I CAN make it through this day, through this silence of singlehood, without the reassurances from men, then perhaps that's best. I don't need them...I just want them... There's that pain-in-the-butt DESIRE again...Sheesh, what a persistent little mosquito...

There's a beautiful Christian song I've recently found, and absolutely adore. Its called "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North. There's a verse that asks (From God's perspective), "Why are you searching for love? Why do you keep looking, as if I'm not enough?" Wow, that's what I need to have pounded into me. Why do I keep searching? God's love is MORE than enough for me, and although I know in my heart someday I'll meet a God-fearing and loving man who is good enough for me, his love will NEVER match the love God has for me.

It makes sense, logically then, that I put aside the silly desires of searching for love. But practically, we all know, it's really hard to do. Especially in the silence of my home, all alone, when I think back to what I THOUGHT I had, and now realize it just wasn't meant to be...

So... Thanks be to God that He gave us MUSIC to fill the silence, and that He gave us DOGS to make us laugh, and He gave us CATS to keep us busy, and He gave us 10yr old boys to fill us with pride and hope, and He gave us FRIENDS to listen to us and read our stories, and He gave us GRACE...for its the little things that make the biggest difference!

Silence schmilence... I'd better get going, I've got a lot to do today!!

God Bless you!
Peace Friend,
~Erica